Hype, Lies, Love, And Chickens

Snake oil...? Anybody seen my snake oil? Crap! There's never a snake oil salesman around when you need one!

...unless you work in radio of course (or a used car dealership).

Fans of a certain medium market alternative station were recently greeted by the following announcement: "STARTING TOMORROW MORNING AT 7:00 AM, RADIO IN [city name] WILL FOREVER CHANGE."

What happened the next morning at 7?

Nothing really.

Oh, sure, the station launched a new morning show - a far cry from forever changing anything.

But, all too often, that's what radio people do. Promise a million dollar giveaway at 7am when, really, they've got a dollar fifty up for grabs at eight. Thank god these people aren't doctors! They'd be dishing out aspirin as a potential cure for the AIDS virus.

I'm not badmouthing hype. Just lies.

Even worse than completely overblown hype, however, is the threat of a sign off. The station I'm referring to ran sweepers in Spanish as if to suggest they might be flipping format entirely. Yep - there's no better way to show respect for your listeners than to say "hey, I know you're into the music, but we're ready to bail at a moment's notice."

Maybe you're reading this, thinking "dude - it's just hype."

Well you're right. And like I said, I'm not against hype - in fact, I'm all for it. But isn't there a better way to build hype than to threaten a sign-off or go overboard to the point where no one cares anyway?

The station in question wasn't flipping formats. They weren't changing the face of radio forever. They were just teasing the launch of a new morning show. So, I say, why not tease the launch of a new morning show?

There are so many ways to do it.

Get the new morning guy in the production room and have him lay down wild lines to tease the sign on. Make a contest out of it. Make some sort of guessing game. Have him say things so bizarre that the promos are worth listening to on their own. Or maybe he doesn't ever say who he is. Maybe it's all a tease for monday morning at 7 with no explanation as to why. Put listeners on the air guessing who this clown is. Or use his name like a noun and have a contest asking people what that thing is. (Barsky once did this before signing on in Chicago. The station ran promos asking "What's a BARSKY?" followed by listener guesses).

Ten years ago, I saw Julia Roberts on the Late Show with David Letterman. She told the punchline to a joke. She said she didn't actually know the joke, but the punchline on its own was so funny that she'd tell that at parties. Ten years later, I still remember the punchline:

"Well, you may be livin' off love, but you're killing the chickens."

It's funny, it's bizarre, and it's memorable. Why not use something like that to get your listeners curiosity going?

Run a series of punchline promos. Have the punchlines read by your new morning guy - but never say that's who he is. Just keep the bizarre punchline promos coming for a week or so and promise to tell the whole story Monday morning at 7. And what happens Monday morning at 7? Well lookie there... it's your new morning guy.

There are better ways of building hype than lies.