Watering Down Your Beer

Arbitron released data recently that suggests listeners are pleased with the current state of radio. How can this be you ask? Radio has been watered down and lost nearly all passion through VT and consolidation - but: Do listeners notice at all? I doubt it. I suggest you crack open a cold one as I explain my theory behind this.

Let's talk about beer.

I'm sure this will piss off many of you. As you become offended at my opinion of American beer, think about Listeners and their thoughts on corporate radio. I bet you've got more in common than you suspect.

Beer in the U.S:

It sucks. Most American beer is bad to the point that it becomes embarrassing. If the United states doesn't produce the worlds worst beer, surely we come close. Budwieser, Miller, Coors, etc etc etc. They're all awful. And there's a good reason as to WHY they're all so bad.

That reason is history.

First of all, we are a young nation in comparison to countries that make the best beer, so it's not like our breweries have a long legacy. Then factor in Prohibition, when all of our breweries were shut down. So much for starting to build a legacy. Then factor in World War I, when so many of our men were overseas. By the time World War II came around, our breweries couldn't stand more lean years.

With our men overseas again, an interesting phenomenon occurred. Women started working in the factories and holding many other "man" jobs of the era. The female battle cry was "We Can Do It!"

Over time, American breweries changed their beer to encourage women to become beer drinkers. They changed our beer to be as tasteless, odorless and colorless as possible. The best example of this is Budweiser - though they all taste so similar.

The name Budweiser is actually stolen from a beer called Budweiser Bier Bürgerbrau in an area we now know as part of the Czech Republic. Hold a glass of the real Budweiser side to side with OUR American Budweiser, and they don't even look like the same beverage. Theirs has a deep gold/amber color. Ours looks more like a cheap lemonade - which is ironic since lemonade has more flavor than Budweiser. Bud has very little flavor whatsoever.

And, yet, we know that many people love the stuff. Many Americans, that is.

HOW DOES THIS RELATE TO RADIO?

You can't blame average Americans for not knowing how pathetic American beer is. It's all they know.

You can't blame listeners for not knowing how pathetic radio has become. It's all they know.

Neither radio nor beer became this watered down garbage overnight. It happened over a period of decades, so it was hard for the untrained ear/tastes to detect the changes.

If you drink Bud and enjoy it, then you have done the beer equivalent of listening to a Corporate FM thinking it's the shit.

Bud and that Corporate FM are both shit.

But you can't blame the masses for not knowing better. So say I while sipping an Irish stout.