Dear Mel Karmazin

There are times when I can't believe the things people say. Here's a perfect example, courtesy of Viacom President/COO Mel Karmazin:

The Wall Street Journal quoted Mel at the Deutsche Bank Media Conference last week as saying:

"there's nothing out there that is wrong with radio"

...that can't be solved by...

"a kick in the ass of the 3,500 radio salespeople, and if I have to do it to each one, I will."

Dear Mel;

Before kicking the collective or individual asses of 3,500 of your own salespeople, ask yourself the following question:

"What is holding my radio properties back financially?"

If you honestly believe the answer to be 3,500 salespeople, do us all a favor and bang your head on the hardest surface you can find. The top of your desk will do - forehead first, bang it now. Go ahead, I''ll wait. (...fingers tap tap tap tap...)

OK. Now that you've hopefully knocked a little sense into yourself (if not, reread the above), I want to assure you that your problem is absolutely positively not "3,500 salespeople!" A few losers here or there is one thing. But if the problem is your entire sales staff, or even a significant portion of it, that points to a bigger issue higher up. '"Hey, I resemble that remark!" ' Yes indeedilydoo you do. Keep reading.

I understand that it's easier to blame the little guys at the bottom, but c'mon Mel... what's the real goal here? What do you really long for? Do you want to generate more sustainable revenue, or do you want the yes-men to bob their collective heads and grin as you walk by?

Let's get to the root of your problem with this little exercise: Think of a product that doesn't interest you at all. Something that you wouldn't buy even if you could. Let's imagine that Ford is re-introducing the Pinto and your neighbor is a salesman who keeps trying to convince you to buy one. You overhear a Ford exec. say that he's going to kick all of his salespeople's asses because Pintos aren't selling. But you know your neighbor isn't the problem at all. You explain to the exec. that his problem is the product itself rather than the person selling it.

What? Hhhmmm? Uh-huh. Yeah. (feel free to pause for a moment as the light comes on. Continue reading when ready)

You see Mel, your problem isn't 3,500 salespeople. Your problem is 1200 Pintos. Oh sure, there are a few Explorers and Mustangs in the bunch... your stations aren't ALL Pintos, but a hell of a lot of them are, and I don't see your engineering team headed back to the drawing board to do a damn thing about it. Why should you expect anything other than 1200 Pintos in the 2004 lineup?

You've forced your programmers to lower their standards by denying them the tools they need to win, and the sad truth is that some of those tools don't cost you a goddamn dime. Not one.

Creativity is free Mel. You need your people to take great pride in working for a company that embraces and fosters creativity. A company that rewards creativity. Oh, if only that were the kind of company you work for. Once upon a time, that was the case - but that is certainly not the Infinity of today. And while you're at it, you need to show a little respect for your people - but that's an entire 'Dear Mel letter' unto itself which I will save for another day.

Today is already shot to hell, Mel, but tomorrow is in your hands.

So Mel - I ask you: What'cha gonna do?